The New Normal

So life has been a bit crazy since I last posted! We have moved to Tennessee, I had my baby, and now am currently homeschooling my 2 older children. Life is just a bit... different, let's say, than what I had imagined it would be on this side of things. I think the upset of so many new things set the kids off and they have been literally wild kids since we moved here. Enter homeschooling... Now, before anyone gets their panties (or boxers, whatever) in a wad, let me just say, it's nothing more than structured fun! I am basically calling it school to get us all used to the idea of school one day being a real thing in our house, but also it's a skeleton to hang a schedule on. WE NEED A SCHEDULE!!! I have ALWAYS fought to get my kids in bed, and last week we decided we would read thru the Jesus Storybook Bible (thank you, Amber!!!) at bedtime. Well, it took them 4 nights to figure out the routine and have not fought me to go to bed since! I call that an EPIC win!! LOL! So, I went out and bought (very cheap) curriculum for my kids, just to have a few good ideas to build on, really. Plus the first thing I bought they blew thru in 10 minutes! My kids need something to do with their brains, or they become,... zombies!! I don't want to feed the fear in people about the zombie apocalypse, so I need to feed their brains! ;)

Tennessee is so beautiful! I am loving the scenery here, and now that the leaves are just starting to turn, I am getting very excited about the possibility of snow!! Had to go get the kids some real winter clothes, like a windbreaker! Never needed those in Florida, or Georgia, for that matter! Drummer boy is actually trying to get involved in the music scene up here. Right now he is actually at a drum off at the local Guitar Center! If he wins, he gets a new drum set and free gear for life! Yes, please! (Do you know how much it costs to replace those plastic thingy's on the top and bottom of those drums?) I am just settling into the idea of being a mother of 3! I am sure that I would appreciate this if I had 6, but still not used to having 3 little people need me all at the same time! Still working on making sure the "6" never, ever, ever, ever, EVER happens! Cause I might cut someone,... ya know,... figuratively speaking,... of course!

My birthing experience was less than ideal, but God's perfect plan for this little girl's birth! So I guess "ideal" is a matter of perspective, huh? I did end up going to the hospital, and thankfully, my mom was in town to help us with the kids so Drummer Boy could be with me. I owe him my sanity! I started feeling contractions around midnight, we went to the hospital, the checked me around 3am, I was already dilated to 5 cm. They took my vitals, and asked if blood pressure had always been high... Um, no! Actually it was never a problem! So they wanted to get a good strip of the baby, and watch my BP, so they hooked me up. I agreed to intermittent monitoring, not continuous. Well, because of my BP I ended up in the stupid hospital bed the entire time! Eventually they thought they would give me pitocin to help the contractions be more effective. I said no, break my water instead. Glad they did, there was mecconium (baby's first poop, tar like consistency) in the water. I would not have known what to do if I was at home with that anyway. In fact, the #1 concern I had going into the home birth idea was that there would be tainted water and it be too thick for me to take care of at home. God's kindness poured out to me that I was at the hospital. Also, the third "good enough" reason for us to be at a hospital was that she had a hand up by her head. I told Drummer Boy I knew I had felt fingers around my cervix! Then it all came rushing at me as I lay there on that bed. I now had 3 strikes against me, I could be easily wheeled off for a c-section if I wasn't careful. I wanted to fight with them about staying in bed, because to be honest, I have not ever experienced a stronger instinctual pull than to get off my back, with the exception of taking care of my babies if they are in danger. But, the hospital was rather accommodating when it came to our preferences with the baby. They really did not give me a hard time about delayed cord clamping, or not vaccinating, or immediate skin contact with me. The one and only thing they did do was pull on my cord after the baby was born and they had cut the cord. I am not sure how I managed to keep my cool, but I didn't say anything to them (I do remember kicking someone, lol). All I can think of is that it was just the hormones, and too much to take on after such a very physically demanding labor and delivery. She was 10lbs 1.5oz, folks! I have big babies, but I soooo was not expecting a 10 P.O.U.N.D. baby!!! Shoulders killed me! I am just so thankful she is out, and I am no longer pregnant! She is beautiful, and I couldn't be happier with our little family! I am so very amazed at God's goodness to us, and His grace has been covering us!

So, that's our new normal,... for now at least!

Life is sometimes a bit crazy!

So! I feel like I have been meaning to get to posting something, and then... ___________ happens! Something always seems to happen!! LOL! It's been a whirlwind the last few weeks, and I am not quite sure it's over, just kinda catching my breath for a second. :)
We decided about 3 weeks ago to pull the kids out of preschool, and I am so glad we did!! We were noticing a lot of attitude issues with both the kids, but mainly Sissy. I think she was having a really hard time transitioning from school "rules" to home "rules". It ended up looking like tantrums and screaming fits out of nowhere. So, in addition to a few other things, we let this be "enough" reason,... as if I needed one to begin with. The kids have done FAN.TA.STIC! I mean it! I am freshly aware of how much I need God's grace every single day! But He has not let me forget this is not just about the kids, it's about me, too. I am learning so much about parenting lately, and I have to say, it's not from a book, or a sermon, or a paper, or a "technique". It's simply, and amazingly, the Holy Spirit's leading in our lives. My attitude has been challenged indirectly by my children. I think a lot can be said simply by taking a look at how parents respond and speak to their children and the children's response in turn, it's usually a mirror image. (Kinda scary!) That's how this has worked for us, at least. How can I ask my 2 or 3 year old to control their emotional outbursts, when I am regularly having my own "temper tantrum" throughout the day. Now, there are still moments of chaos and insanity. Do not be fooled, lol, my toddlers still have plenty of meltdowns, but they are becoming less and less.
We also have been potty training, and I have to say, it's going really well! I was terrified of starting, because that meant I had to be "on guard" at all times, and be at home for the duration of however long it took them to "get it". Being the only driver, it's impossible for me to be home all day every day, because Drummer Boy has to still go to work, errands still have to be run, and groceries do not deliver themselves, contrary to what the WWW will tell you, lol! With 2, I thought for sure it would be a very long time before we went a day without any accidents, and yet, it's been pretty quick, I think! God is good!! :) Even in the simple life of potty training! LOL! I find you learn how to simplify as much as you need to in order to get the job done, if you will. Let me just say, we've watched more TV than I care to think about! But it kept them in plain sight, together, and for one, was the very distraction needed to "catch" the act. Outside time will greatly increase soon!! Still a little gun shy of going all night without pull-ups, but I figure they are getting it while they are awake, that's a big step from 2 weeks ago!
In addition to all this, we have been talking about the whole birth and prenatal situation quite a bit. It's been interesting! I really thought we were both on the same page when it came to a doula, and come to find out, we soooo weren't!! I guess I didn't do a very good job of explaining what a doula was, and so Drummer Boy had the impression that she was who we called in an emergency. Well, let's just say, we are still working out the details to this, and we will be in childbirth classes to help him get more involved. Even more than Lamaze led him to be! LOL! I had my 28 week prenatal today, and talked to the nurse midwife on my rotation of practitioners to see about the glucose test. Well, let me start off with, I have done my research, and I stand firm in the fact that I still would make the same decision even if I thought I did have gestational diabetes. But, I really am not comfortable shocking my body with up to 100 G of sugar (that's approximately 3 1/2 snickers bars). I did the drink with my first pregnancy and my blood sugar levels were border line, so the Dr sent me back for the 4 hour test to do it over a longer period of time. GREAT! Turns out, there was not problem to begin with,... Thanks for that, Doc! With my second pregnancy I was able to eat a regulated meal and have my blood drawn exactly 1 hour after and my levels were completely normal. SO! I was on the hunt for the reasons to not ask for the meal option again, and the Dr's office doesn't do any alternatives to the drink. None. So, all the alternatives I offered, and I had several, they said they would not do. I asked why they would not let me do anything other than the drink, and she just said, "because we can't find any testing to see numbers that make us comfortable with it being accurate." [Paraphrased] So, instead we will shock your body into overdrive, to hell with the side effects on mom or baby, just to make sure your pancreas is, in fact, producing insulin! GOOD! I was just eating my 4th candy bar for breakfast yesterday when I thought, "Hmm, maybe I should have my blood sugar levels tested,..." I just couldn't get a straight answer as to why I should do it, if in real life every other day, you would advise me NOT to eat that much sugar. It just doesn't make sense to me. But, anyhow, I declined the test. Which is NOT what I was wanting to do, but I had no choice, unless I wanted to drink the drink. She promptly measured my uterus, and told me I was measuring at 30 weeks, which is big according to my dates. And then that I should have been given the test in my first trimester as well, because my BMI is too high. Do you know the things that were going through my head were not lovely. Something like: "I literally have gained 4 pounds since pregnancy in November, and you want to talk to me about how much I must be a diabetic?! My first child was 9lbs 11oz, my second 9lbs 1oz both at 41 weeks, with a good diet, and I gained MUCH more than 4 stinkin' pounds, LADY!!! Last time I was here they told me I couldn't gain any more weight, because I had reached my maximum for the pregnancy, and now I just don't get it. My midwife didn't even flinch when I hit the 25 lbs weight gain with my first 2, and it didn't stop there! REALLY!?" ..... Yes, something to that effect, lol! Not lovely, I know, just real.

Unassisted... Birth?! (part 2)

So, I think I missed a crucial step in the process of explaining things, and that is, Why? Why would we decide this is the best option when we have a hospital 2 miles down the road? Well, I will list the reasons for you, and then explain those.

1. Labor- The first thing that comes to mind when you think of having a baby in the hospital is a woman laying on her back being told to "PUSH!" with her legs being pushed for resistance. Let me just tell you that laboring on your back is more painful that standing or squatting! I know because I have done both. I had the most horrible back labor with my son, because I thought that's what you were "supposed" to do is lay down and labor. Not so much! When I was walking around, be it slowly, or squatting or sitting on a birthing ball my contractions with my daughter were never as painful as with my son. Not to mention that laying on your back takes gravity out of the equation, and leaves your body to do the entirety of the work, so labor slows or comes to a stop altogether. That's why most mom's that go in to the hospital in early labor end up getting pitocin and sometimes even a "failure to progress" stamp and rolled away to surgery.  In addition to all this! Physiologically, that's not an easy way for baby to come out. It actually makes your pelvis much more narrow by laying down, whereas squatting opens up your pelvis for the baby to have as much room as you can give them to go through the birth canal. So many reasons not to labor on your back! 
2. Medicines- I am a huge proponent of a natural birth and all the wonderful things that come from a 100% natural birth! Having said that, I will tell you that given the opportunity, I would have taken the epidural for my first, because I was just so tired and done with labor, I wanted a baby already! I know for me, having the option of meds would be a very hard thing to resist so close. BUT if I am not in the place to get any meds, I won't even think about it. I am so happy that I did not get meds with either of my births, because of the natural "cocktail" of hormones my body produced made for a wonderful after birth bonding experience for the babies and for me! Babies born to mothers who did not have any pain meds are more alert and willing to breast feed earlier than those that have had meds. 
3. Cutting/Episiotomy- I know this one is almost non-existent in hospitals now, but it does still happen. Most OB's know now that with tearing you heal faster, with little or no pain, but with a cut and stitches it's much worse for your body to recover, plus you now would need pain meds to go home with, as well. It just simply isn't needed, and I would rather tear, as strange as that sounds, that get cut. I did tear with my first, and had NO idea. I felt no pain from it during birth, immediately after birth or during the 6 weeks recovery time.
4. C-section rates- I shared this in my last post. The only hospital we can go to, (because there is only one that you can deliver at in town), has a c-section rate of 47%. That's all I think I need to say.  
5. Pulling- Most mom's delivering a baby in the hospital will never even notice this, but there are many OB's that like to pull the baby out, or push your vagina out of the way to get to baby's head to pull them out. Then, after the baby is born, they clamp and cut the cord, and hand the baby to you, and start pulling on the umbilical cord to try and get the placenta to separate from the uterine wall. Usually during this time, they will give you a shot of pitocin, or the like to get your uterus to contract heavily to help in the separation of the placenta. There are serious problems that can come from both of these pulling techniques. Erecessive bleeding or hemorrhaging is just one of the things that can happen. The uterus can actually tear as well, which obviously is a very bad thing! I'm good without either being the case.
6. Cord clamping- This is something that I wish I had known more about before this pregnancy. I have done extensive research regarding the "delayed cord clamping" idea. It makes sense that God would make it unnecessary to hurry up and clamp the cord, because it does it all by itself. Just like all the other things that take place during a low risk pregnancy and birth, God made our bodies awesome creations, indeed! He thought of everything!! Why do I need to "fix" it? Nothing scientifically shows any need to keep the baby from approximately 1/3-1/2 their blood by early cord clamping. I linked a video above to show a demonstration of how this works. But the whole idea of cord blood banking basically says that the baby has no need for this blood, or the stem cells that are in the cord blood, either. This simply is not true, and I want my baby to have every advantage of fighting off diseases and illnesses, like I'm sure 100% of the rest of parents out there! :) This cord blood and stems cells do just that, that's why God put them there, and it makes all the sense in the world to fight for your kids in this way. It's a simple process of waiting until the cord stops pulsating, or is white instead of purple. This can take as little as 60 second to 15 minutes, but is it that long? No, even in the extreme case of having to wait for the placenta to be born, it's really not that long, maybe 30 minutes. Lots of research proves it actually helps baby! But in an attempt to hurry the process of birth up, hospitals like to cut the cord immediately and get the mom to the recovery room and baby to nursery quickly for the next woman behind them to come into that room.  
7. Separation of mom and baby- This is actually one of those instinctual things that I just can't imagine it any other way, to be honest. I have never had anyone take my baby away from my sight during a birth experience, and I am not in favor of that happening in a hospital setting. I know the hospitals will say they will respect your wishes, and not do anything that you don't want done behind closed door, and I want to trust that to be the truth, but I just can't do it. Maybe I am just paranoid, and I am at peace with that, lol! This next point will explain this more.
8. Vaccines/injections/medicines- We have decided not to vaccinate our children for religious reasons, (for the most part, that is). This a very hard thing to do in a hospital setting for birth, since they literally have the Hep B, vitamin K injection, and "eye goop" lying right next to all the newborn supplies for suctioning, and drying off baby. I know this is a hard decision for some parents to understand, so I will just say this: I am not asking any parent to do what we do, since each child is different, I highly recommend you do LOTS of praying and LOTS of research on all topics and decisions relating to your children. I only know that this is what we feel like God has asked us to do for our children, and I am not willing to risk the serious side effects or injuries of vaccines due to negligence/disobedience on my part. This is a subject that I am regularly am researching, and in fact have a binder of information supporting our decision with Biblical principals or scientific facts. This definitely has not been a flippant, rebellious decision, and therefore we cannot do anything other than be obedient in this area.
9.  Stress- When I am birthing, I just want to be quiet, and left alone for the most part. It helps to have a dark, familiar place to be in during labor. There have been many professionals that relate it to a very similar situation as making love. Think of the atmosphere in which you would want to be in to make love. It's not some place where you are listening to monitors, and people are coming in and out with loud areas and lack of privacy. All that would do is stress a mom out, which then leads to tension of the muscles of her body, including the uterus, slowing contractions, and making it difficult for the contractions to be effective, and it becomes more painful because her body is literally fighting itself. Plus, for me, all I would be thinking about is all the above things that would be problems for me, which would be a major stress for me. I would want to lock myself in the bathroom and not come out! 

Now, I know that if something happened, and I decided something wasn't right, and I needed help or intervention, that doesn't change who I am as a mother, and it's not the worst thing that will ever happen! I would never tell a mom where she needs to birth, or whether or not to get any pain medicines, because it's not my birth or my body! That has to be a personal choice! Just like with all these topics of why I am not wanting to go to the hospital. These are just our choices, not what I would tell anyone else they should have done, or should do! I have this saying I like to tell people, "There are non-negotiable, ethical reasons why we cannot do some things, and then there are my preferences, which can change due to situations that may arise." I hope this is helpful in explaining the Whys in our decision.

Unassisted... Birth?! (part 1)

So, today, I decided I would start a "diary" of some of the choices we have had to make regarding the birth of this new baby. I know it may be something that will turn heads, and leave people wondering, "What on EARTH is she THINKING?!" And that's okay, because I hope to shed some light on a very controversial subject, and the thought process that goes into it. Unassisted Childbirth! Yes, I said unassisted. Yes, this means without a medical professional on hand to attend the birth. Now, before you click the back button on your web browser, let me just tell you, this would not be my first choice, and I would not recommend this to other pregnant women, because of the risks. I don't know if I would ever recommend this option for a mom that is trying to explore her options, especially a first time mom, because birth in and of itself is a very complicated thing. Things can, and do, go wrong very quickly when they occur. But, I will tell you, that with the options we have here in this state, it's about the only option that makes good sense for us. Here's why:

1. The laws in Georgia are very clear that it is illegal for a midwife to attend a birth, with the exception of a nurse midwife under the legal backing of a Doctor. Since we believe we are responsible for the information we have, and commanded by God to obey the law, this makes a very clear decision for us. Although, I do know that midwives still practice without the support of Doctors and still attend home births, I cannot in good faith, hire a home birth midwife for our birth.
2. The C-section rate at our local hospital is 47%! The World Health Organization (WHO) states that no region in the world is justified in having a cesarean rate greater than 10 to 15 percent. (ref. http://www.childbirth.org/section/CSFact.html) In my opinion that number is based upon the desire to plan your child's birthday, and the fact that the OB's and hospital's get paid more for surgery than just a normal birth. Personally, I am not willing to risk that rate to include me, unless medically necessary, i.e. baby or mom's life is in danger.
3. I have done extensive research in our city, and online about unassisted births, and I think most people would be really surprised at how safe it can be, if you are well informed, willing to take responsibility for your own birth, and know how to handle different emergencies. Again, not my first choice, nor will it be something I full on recommend, but I do know how to call 911! :) 

I believe that pregnancy and birth are part of a normal function of the female body, and we in the western world have turned it into a medical need of some sort. In some women this can be a true need, and I am all for mom's who don't feel comfortable giving birth by themselves, or in a birth center outside of the hospital. I know that since about 1950, there have been tons of things that the media, doctors, hospitals, and plenty of other "professional" resources have done and said that sent fear up the spines of pregnant women everywhere with the "what if's" in a pregnancy and birth. I also know that when given all the information and options, women can make good logical decisions without the need of fear tactics, and can also know how to call 911 when they need. I am not trying to convince anyone to do something that doesn't make good logical sense, or that they don't feel 100% comfortable with. That is not my goal, by any means, and at the same time, I want people to know they do have options that most people either don't offer, or just don't know are available. This is my heart: that I can share good information that come from reputable sources, that might give someone hope that there may be another way to do things,... most things, in fact!
I have been known to "stir the pot", if you will. This is my current venue, and I do not regularly share these things with just anyone. I would highly recommend speaking with a doctor, or medical professional before making any decisions. The one thing that most people don't do that would (I think) make all the difference, is doing some research on any subject they may have questions about, before speaking with a medical professional, so that when you do get that 5 minutes of their time, you can make the most of it, with all the information you can gather, and all the options. I have had many productive conversations with doctors and midwives and medical professionals when I am prepared with information that they may or may not have known was an option, or do not support. If I go into an office visit with no information, usually I am getting their opinion, and their preferences, not the whole gamut of options available. Which, I don't know about you, but I like to know what all my options are before making any decisions. Like dinner, for instance! :) If steak is an option, but I'm only offered fish sticks, I want to know that I at least have the option! LOL!

Okay, I will stop here for time's sake and pick up again in a few days with more information I have gathered, and hope will be helpful and hopeful to you!