One day I will miss this...

I was recently thinking about all the little things that make up the substance to my life, and then read http://mamabirth.blogspot.com/2012/06/50-things-ill-miss-someday.html and I thought I would share my own things I know I will miss one day. Please know that these may be the very things I sometimes complain about having to "deal" with, but I am trying to just enjoy the moment God has us in, versus being in a constant state of, "I can't wait until ________".  So, please just let me vent when I need to, kay? :)

• Waking up to little voices saying, "Momma, I love you!"
• Random hugs and kisses throughout the day for no good reason
• Silly 2 year old sayings, or thoughts
• Sweet, pure joy over every day things like birds, and squirrels, and clouds in a blue sky
• Being needed so much they always want to touch me,... literally!
• Having people that want to be around me without regard to what I can do to entertain them or benefit them
• Giggles and tickles
• "I'm gonna get you, Momma! You better run!"
• Crazy mis-matched, sometimes backwards or inside out clothing choices
• Creatively playing with objects without using their intended purpose, because it's fun! Like toilet paper rolls turned into bull horns
• Watching the every day progress and growth, and then looking back and saying, "Oh look how little s/he was!!"
• Major mile stones! Walking, talking, crawling, POTTY TRAINING!!!
• Cribs, baby diapers, baby socks, baby clothes, baby ANYTHING!
• Crying over what I want for them, and knowing some of it will not happen because I simply can't make them choose anything
• Little faces so close to my face
• Their voice right now
• Singing half of one song and somehow making it turn into another totally different song at the end "Twinkle, twinkle little star, up above the world so high, E-I-E-I-OOOOOOOO!"
• Car seats that restrain children from flying all over the car, or taking off seat belts
• Dress up 
• Baths- This is a hard one for me to remember in the moment to let them enjoy. It's just so messy!
• Honestly, freely, without hesitation forgiveness
• "I hold you!"
• Snuggling in bed for longer than really necessary, just to stay still and hold them, and because they want to lay in Momma's bed!
• The fun of jumping on, well, anything that bounces... couches, chairs, beds, you name it!
• Running feet through my house
• Their affection for each other and other children that is totally foreign to most adults
• Their naivety- Wish this could last longer without it causing problems in normal adulthood
• Their love of all living creatures regardless of whether or not they "should" love a certain person, or stranger, or dog, or snake, lol
• Their kisses to make things better- "you have a head ache, I kiss it!" :) Melts my heart every time!!
• Little bottoms are soooo adorable! Even if they are being disobedient when I am asking them to come here to put clothes on
• The sounds of a full house with children. I do NOT look forward to the all day silence, but maybe the first hour will be nice! 

I think I have rambled enough, but this is my thoughts for the day.

Matthew 6:34 "Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Quiet times

Have you ever had a time where all you wanted was just to be quiet? Quiet from the yelling chaos of toddlers, sometimes playing, sometimes fighting,... whichever! :) Quiet from the constant thought process in your head. Quiet from all the "distractions" of life. Just to be still in spirit and quiet. That is where I am these days. I know that comes with the end of pregnancy, and I am SOOOOO thankful this is a temporary feeling. I am feeling the need to push through and plan everything from meals to babysitters to date nights to trips to things still needed for baby... You know, just the everyday hum drum in my head! :) So because I want to make the most educated decision I can at the moment I need to, I submerge myself in all the details of whatever I am trying to "plan". Like freezer meals and infant car seats that I have to only take someones word for in quality. It's exhausting! Then we add the normal potty-training toddler life to that, and let me just say, my husband is a miracle worker for getting all the laundry washed and dried, because I have been so busy trying to keep up with messes lately, it's making me a bit batty. And the encouragement I received today from my dad, "So you are at the beginning stages of exhaustion?" LOL!! Thanks for that! LOL! Yes, I know it will get worse before it gets better, but I am just looking forward to getting all the jobs done, so I can focus on The Job of birth! :)  That, and finding an end to the constant messes. But, then again, I guess that starts all over with this little one in about a year, huh? LOL! Well, I can dream, let me live in my moment, will ya? :)  So, in light of today's busyness: four time clean up of crushed goldfish in furniture, seven sets of peed underwear, four toilet bowl baths, 2 juice spills, 3 hot dogs chewed and promptly spit out all over the floor, countless screaming toddler fits, a few goose-eggs on 2 small heads from a wooden train track, 7 minutes of pure bliss in closed eyes, and of course a bath without the bathtub in the bathroom... I am freshly reminded that His mercies are new every morning, and that I should just Be Still! and know that He is God! For these things, and so much more, I am eternally grateful!

Life is sometimes a bit crazy!

So! I feel like I have been meaning to get to posting something, and then... ___________ happens! Something always seems to happen!! LOL! It's been a whirlwind the last few weeks, and I am not quite sure it's over, just kinda catching my breath for a second. :)
We decided about 3 weeks ago to pull the kids out of preschool, and I am so glad we did!! We were noticing a lot of attitude issues with both the kids, but mainly Sissy. I think she was having a really hard time transitioning from school "rules" to home "rules". It ended up looking like tantrums and screaming fits out of nowhere. So, in addition to a few other things, we let this be "enough" reason,... as if I needed one to begin with. The kids have done FAN.TA.STIC! I mean it! I am freshly aware of how much I need God's grace every single day! But He has not let me forget this is not just about the kids, it's about me, too. I am learning so much about parenting lately, and I have to say, it's not from a book, or a sermon, or a paper, or a "technique". It's simply, and amazingly, the Holy Spirit's leading in our lives. My attitude has been challenged indirectly by my children. I think a lot can be said simply by taking a look at how parents respond and speak to their children and the children's response in turn, it's usually a mirror image. (Kinda scary!) That's how this has worked for us, at least. How can I ask my 2 or 3 year old to control their emotional outbursts, when I am regularly having my own "temper tantrum" throughout the day. Now, there are still moments of chaos and insanity. Do not be fooled, lol, my toddlers still have plenty of meltdowns, but they are becoming less and less.
We also have been potty training, and I have to say, it's going really well! I was terrified of starting, because that meant I had to be "on guard" at all times, and be at home for the duration of however long it took them to "get it". Being the only driver, it's impossible for me to be home all day every day, because Drummer Boy has to still go to work, errands still have to be run, and groceries do not deliver themselves, contrary to what the WWW will tell you, lol! With 2, I thought for sure it would be a very long time before we went a day without any accidents, and yet, it's been pretty quick, I think! God is good!! :) Even in the simple life of potty training! LOL! I find you learn how to simplify as much as you need to in order to get the job done, if you will. Let me just say, we've watched more TV than I care to think about! But it kept them in plain sight, together, and for one, was the very distraction needed to "catch" the act. Outside time will greatly increase soon!! Still a little gun shy of going all night without pull-ups, but I figure they are getting it while they are awake, that's a big step from 2 weeks ago!
In addition to all this, we have been talking about the whole birth and prenatal situation quite a bit. It's been interesting! I really thought we were both on the same page when it came to a doula, and come to find out, we soooo weren't!! I guess I didn't do a very good job of explaining what a doula was, and so Drummer Boy had the impression that she was who we called in an emergency. Well, let's just say, we are still working out the details to this, and we will be in childbirth classes to help him get more involved. Even more than Lamaze led him to be! LOL! I had my 28 week prenatal today, and talked to the nurse midwife on my rotation of practitioners to see about the glucose test. Well, let me start off with, I have done my research, and I stand firm in the fact that I still would make the same decision even if I thought I did have gestational diabetes. But, I really am not comfortable shocking my body with up to 100 G of sugar (that's approximately 3 1/2 snickers bars). I did the drink with my first pregnancy and my blood sugar levels were border line, so the Dr sent me back for the 4 hour test to do it over a longer period of time. GREAT! Turns out, there was not problem to begin with,... Thanks for that, Doc! With my second pregnancy I was able to eat a regulated meal and have my blood drawn exactly 1 hour after and my levels were completely normal. SO! I was on the hunt for the reasons to not ask for the meal option again, and the Dr's office doesn't do any alternatives to the drink. None. So, all the alternatives I offered, and I had several, they said they would not do. I asked why they would not let me do anything other than the drink, and she just said, "because we can't find any testing to see numbers that make us comfortable with it being accurate." [Paraphrased] So, instead we will shock your body into overdrive, to hell with the side effects on mom or baby, just to make sure your pancreas is, in fact, producing insulin! GOOD! I was just eating my 4th candy bar for breakfast yesterday when I thought, "Hmm, maybe I should have my blood sugar levels tested,..." I just couldn't get a straight answer as to why I should do it, if in real life every other day, you would advise me NOT to eat that much sugar. It just doesn't make sense to me. But, anyhow, I declined the test. Which is NOT what I was wanting to do, but I had no choice, unless I wanted to drink the drink. She promptly measured my uterus, and told me I was measuring at 30 weeks, which is big according to my dates. And then that I should have been given the test in my first trimester as well, because my BMI is too high. Do you know the things that were going through my head were not lovely. Something like: "I literally have gained 4 pounds since pregnancy in November, and you want to talk to me about how much I must be a diabetic?! My first child was 9lbs 11oz, my second 9lbs 1oz both at 41 weeks, with a good diet, and I gained MUCH more than 4 stinkin' pounds, LADY!!! Last time I was here they told me I couldn't gain any more weight, because I had reached my maximum for the pregnancy, and now I just don't get it. My midwife didn't even flinch when I hit the 25 lbs weight gain with my first 2, and it didn't stop there! REALLY!?" ..... Yes, something to that effect, lol! Not lovely, I know, just real.

Unassisted... Birth?! (part 2)

So, I think I missed a crucial step in the process of explaining things, and that is, Why? Why would we decide this is the best option when we have a hospital 2 miles down the road? Well, I will list the reasons for you, and then explain those.

1. Labor- The first thing that comes to mind when you think of having a baby in the hospital is a woman laying on her back being told to "PUSH!" with her legs being pushed for resistance. Let me just tell you that laboring on your back is more painful that standing or squatting! I know because I have done both. I had the most horrible back labor with my son, because I thought that's what you were "supposed" to do is lay down and labor. Not so much! When I was walking around, be it slowly, or squatting or sitting on a birthing ball my contractions with my daughter were never as painful as with my son. Not to mention that laying on your back takes gravity out of the equation, and leaves your body to do the entirety of the work, so labor slows or comes to a stop altogether. That's why most mom's that go in to the hospital in early labor end up getting pitocin and sometimes even a "failure to progress" stamp and rolled away to surgery.  In addition to all this! Physiologically, that's not an easy way for baby to come out. It actually makes your pelvis much more narrow by laying down, whereas squatting opens up your pelvis for the baby to have as much room as you can give them to go through the birth canal. So many reasons not to labor on your back! 
2. Medicines- I am a huge proponent of a natural birth and all the wonderful things that come from a 100% natural birth! Having said that, I will tell you that given the opportunity, I would have taken the epidural for my first, because I was just so tired and done with labor, I wanted a baby already! I know for me, having the option of meds would be a very hard thing to resist so close. BUT if I am not in the place to get any meds, I won't even think about it. I am so happy that I did not get meds with either of my births, because of the natural "cocktail" of hormones my body produced made for a wonderful after birth bonding experience for the babies and for me! Babies born to mothers who did not have any pain meds are more alert and willing to breast feed earlier than those that have had meds. 
3. Cutting/Episiotomy- I know this one is almost non-existent in hospitals now, but it does still happen. Most OB's know now that with tearing you heal faster, with little or no pain, but with a cut and stitches it's much worse for your body to recover, plus you now would need pain meds to go home with, as well. It just simply isn't needed, and I would rather tear, as strange as that sounds, that get cut. I did tear with my first, and had NO idea. I felt no pain from it during birth, immediately after birth or during the 6 weeks recovery time.
4. C-section rates- I shared this in my last post. The only hospital we can go to, (because there is only one that you can deliver at in town), has a c-section rate of 47%. That's all I think I need to say.  
5. Pulling- Most mom's delivering a baby in the hospital will never even notice this, but there are many OB's that like to pull the baby out, or push your vagina out of the way to get to baby's head to pull them out. Then, after the baby is born, they clamp and cut the cord, and hand the baby to you, and start pulling on the umbilical cord to try and get the placenta to separate from the uterine wall. Usually during this time, they will give you a shot of pitocin, or the like to get your uterus to contract heavily to help in the separation of the placenta. There are serious problems that can come from both of these pulling techniques. Erecessive bleeding or hemorrhaging is just one of the things that can happen. The uterus can actually tear as well, which obviously is a very bad thing! I'm good without either being the case.
6. Cord clamping- This is something that I wish I had known more about before this pregnancy. I have done extensive research regarding the "delayed cord clamping" idea. It makes sense that God would make it unnecessary to hurry up and clamp the cord, because it does it all by itself. Just like all the other things that take place during a low risk pregnancy and birth, God made our bodies awesome creations, indeed! He thought of everything!! Why do I need to "fix" it? Nothing scientifically shows any need to keep the baby from approximately 1/3-1/2 their blood by early cord clamping. I linked a video above to show a demonstration of how this works. But the whole idea of cord blood banking basically says that the baby has no need for this blood, or the stem cells that are in the cord blood, either. This simply is not true, and I want my baby to have every advantage of fighting off diseases and illnesses, like I'm sure 100% of the rest of parents out there! :) This cord blood and stems cells do just that, that's why God put them there, and it makes all the sense in the world to fight for your kids in this way. It's a simple process of waiting until the cord stops pulsating, or is white instead of purple. This can take as little as 60 second to 15 minutes, but is it that long? No, even in the extreme case of having to wait for the placenta to be born, it's really not that long, maybe 30 minutes. Lots of research proves it actually helps baby! But in an attempt to hurry the process of birth up, hospitals like to cut the cord immediately and get the mom to the recovery room and baby to nursery quickly for the next woman behind them to come into that room.  
7. Separation of mom and baby- This is actually one of those instinctual things that I just can't imagine it any other way, to be honest. I have never had anyone take my baby away from my sight during a birth experience, and I am not in favor of that happening in a hospital setting. I know the hospitals will say they will respect your wishes, and not do anything that you don't want done behind closed door, and I want to trust that to be the truth, but I just can't do it. Maybe I am just paranoid, and I am at peace with that, lol! This next point will explain this more.
8. Vaccines/injections/medicines- We have decided not to vaccinate our children for religious reasons, (for the most part, that is). This a very hard thing to do in a hospital setting for birth, since they literally have the Hep B, vitamin K injection, and "eye goop" lying right next to all the newborn supplies for suctioning, and drying off baby. I know this is a hard decision for some parents to understand, so I will just say this: I am not asking any parent to do what we do, since each child is different, I highly recommend you do LOTS of praying and LOTS of research on all topics and decisions relating to your children. I only know that this is what we feel like God has asked us to do for our children, and I am not willing to risk the serious side effects or injuries of vaccines due to negligence/disobedience on my part. This is a subject that I am regularly am researching, and in fact have a binder of information supporting our decision with Biblical principals or scientific facts. This definitely has not been a flippant, rebellious decision, and therefore we cannot do anything other than be obedient in this area.
9.  Stress- When I am birthing, I just want to be quiet, and left alone for the most part. It helps to have a dark, familiar place to be in during labor. There have been many professionals that relate it to a very similar situation as making love. Think of the atmosphere in which you would want to be in to make love. It's not some place where you are listening to monitors, and people are coming in and out with loud areas and lack of privacy. All that would do is stress a mom out, which then leads to tension of the muscles of her body, including the uterus, slowing contractions, and making it difficult for the contractions to be effective, and it becomes more painful because her body is literally fighting itself. Plus, for me, all I would be thinking about is all the above things that would be problems for me, which would be a major stress for me. I would want to lock myself in the bathroom and not come out! 

Now, I know that if something happened, and I decided something wasn't right, and I needed help or intervention, that doesn't change who I am as a mother, and it's not the worst thing that will ever happen! I would never tell a mom where she needs to birth, or whether or not to get any pain medicines, because it's not my birth or my body! That has to be a personal choice! Just like with all these topics of why I am not wanting to go to the hospital. These are just our choices, not what I would tell anyone else they should have done, or should do! I have this saying I like to tell people, "There are non-negotiable, ethical reasons why we cannot do some things, and then there are my preferences, which can change due to situations that may arise." I hope this is helpful in explaining the Whys in our decision.

Unassisted... Birth?! (part 1)

So, today, I decided I would start a "diary" of some of the choices we have had to make regarding the birth of this new baby. I know it may be something that will turn heads, and leave people wondering, "What on EARTH is she THINKING?!" And that's okay, because I hope to shed some light on a very controversial subject, and the thought process that goes into it. Unassisted Childbirth! Yes, I said unassisted. Yes, this means without a medical professional on hand to attend the birth. Now, before you click the back button on your web browser, let me just tell you, this would not be my first choice, and I would not recommend this to other pregnant women, because of the risks. I don't know if I would ever recommend this option for a mom that is trying to explore her options, especially a first time mom, because birth in and of itself is a very complicated thing. Things can, and do, go wrong very quickly when they occur. But, I will tell you, that with the options we have here in this state, it's about the only option that makes good sense for us. Here's why:

1. The laws in Georgia are very clear that it is illegal for a midwife to attend a birth, with the exception of a nurse midwife under the legal backing of a Doctor. Since we believe we are responsible for the information we have, and commanded by God to obey the law, this makes a very clear decision for us. Although, I do know that midwives still practice without the support of Doctors and still attend home births, I cannot in good faith, hire a home birth midwife for our birth.
2. The C-section rate at our local hospital is 47%! The World Health Organization (WHO) states that no region in the world is justified in having a cesarean rate greater than 10 to 15 percent. (ref. http://www.childbirth.org/section/CSFact.html) In my opinion that number is based upon the desire to plan your child's birthday, and the fact that the OB's and hospital's get paid more for surgery than just a normal birth. Personally, I am not willing to risk that rate to include me, unless medically necessary, i.e. baby or mom's life is in danger.
3. I have done extensive research in our city, and online about unassisted births, and I think most people would be really surprised at how safe it can be, if you are well informed, willing to take responsibility for your own birth, and know how to handle different emergencies. Again, not my first choice, nor will it be something I full on recommend, but I do know how to call 911! :) 

I believe that pregnancy and birth are part of a normal function of the female body, and we in the western world have turned it into a medical need of some sort. In some women this can be a true need, and I am all for mom's who don't feel comfortable giving birth by themselves, or in a birth center outside of the hospital. I know that since about 1950, there have been tons of things that the media, doctors, hospitals, and plenty of other "professional" resources have done and said that sent fear up the spines of pregnant women everywhere with the "what if's" in a pregnancy and birth. I also know that when given all the information and options, women can make good logical decisions without the need of fear tactics, and can also know how to call 911 when they need. I am not trying to convince anyone to do something that doesn't make good logical sense, or that they don't feel 100% comfortable with. That is not my goal, by any means, and at the same time, I want people to know they do have options that most people either don't offer, or just don't know are available. This is my heart: that I can share good information that come from reputable sources, that might give someone hope that there may be another way to do things,... most things, in fact!
I have been known to "stir the pot", if you will. This is my current venue, and I do not regularly share these things with just anyone. I would highly recommend speaking with a doctor, or medical professional before making any decisions. The one thing that most people don't do that would (I think) make all the difference, is doing some research on any subject they may have questions about, before speaking with a medical professional, so that when you do get that 5 minutes of their time, you can make the most of it, with all the information you can gather, and all the options. I have had many productive conversations with doctors and midwives and medical professionals when I am prepared with information that they may or may not have known was an option, or do not support. If I go into an office visit with no information, usually I am getting their opinion, and their preferences, not the whole gamut of options available. Which, I don't know about you, but I like to know what all my options are before making any decisions. Like dinner, for instance! :) If steak is an option, but I'm only offered fish sticks, I want to know that I at least have the option! LOL!

Okay, I will stop here for time's sake and pick up again in a few days with more information I have gathered, and hope will be helpful and hopeful to you!

Long time!!!

Ok, so it has been WAY too long since I last posted! I am sorry! If you actually read this, I am working toward becoming more consistent! I am currently working on gathering some information to put together a poll here on parenting and vaccinating. Hopefully this will be something I can use to help me and you get some good resources for these topics! I also will be touching on some other things that are near and dear to my heart as well! So,.... Here goes! Stay tuned! :)

New Life... still crazy!

So life has been so incredibly jam packed this past couple of months! We have done everything from go on a family vacation to the great Disney World in Orlando, to promptly get sick the moment we arrive home, then off to Dothan, AL for work, to go back to O-town for a surgery, and back again this last weekend for the birth of my newest nephew! Such exciting times! But exhausting! I think I am done traveling with my poor kids- who have been absolute troopers!
I have started a tiny little garden... in pots! :) Since we are renting, I refuse to plant anything I cannot take with me when we move- who knows when that may happen! So, I planted sunflowers, wild flowers, cilantro, basil, parsley, chives, pumpkins, gladiolas, wind flowers, wand flowers, cleome flowers, and something else I can't remember the name of. It's a flower to attract some humming birds. So excited that most of these things are growing now! My sunflowers shot out of the soil in no time flat! I think they are almost 3 feet tall now, and I have only had them maybe 6 weeks! They make me happy! I go outside just to "check" on the flowers! :) I know, I know, crazy, but still, I love it!
On a less happy note, my very best friend has been diagnosed with thyroid cancer, and had to have 1/2 of her thyroid out, and will have to go back to get the rest out in July. Not looking forward to that for her! Overall, it's been a whirlwind of life that I have yet to recover from! So thankful for friends and family that have been so helpful with the kids during this time!
That's all for now, I am pooped, time for a nap! :)